Harried by wives, Chennai men make 5000 complaints this year

CHENNAI: Manikandan, 40, a businessman from Velachery, thought he was a well-respected husband. That is, till business hit a downswing. He says his wife, a teacher, now beats him up every day because he earns less than her.

While the world on Tuesday observed International Men's Day — there is such a thing, after all, "a global occasion to celebrate the positive contributions and diverse experience (sic) of being male"; ref. facebook.com/international.mens.day — a growing number of men are approaching the Association for Protection of Men with complaints about being put through the dishwasher by their wives.

Chennai men appear to have it worst. The organization has received 5,000 complaints from men in the city this year. Of these cases, 400 have resulted in petitions for divorce. In Mumbai, 2,000 men complained to the organization this year.

The complaints range from ego clashes to sexual torture. A fair number of husbands (30%) can't get their wives out of their hair, mostly due to ego clashes. Around 20% of the cases were about wives picking up fights with their husbands over living in a joint family.

A similar number of men said their wives were dissatisfied with them in bed and had got involved in extramarital relationships. Around 10% said their wives dragged them to all-women police stations and lodged false complaints against them. As many as 500 of the 5,000 complainants said they were beaten up by their wives.

Some of the complaints that the association receives border on the bizarre. A man from Washermenpet, for example, said he did not want to live with his wife because she forced his brother to have sex with her whenever he was on night duty.

National Crime Records Bureau statistics show that, across the country, a married man commits suicide due to marital or financial pressure every eight minutes. Social activist S Syed Ali says Indian society offers little space for men to show signs of weakness, complain or seek help. "Most men who come to us with complaints have put up with nagging or abusive wives for a long time," he said.

Essential steps for securing your phone, and what else can be done to foil thieves

As smartphone theft grows, handset owners need to do all they can to secure their devices. Read the steps you can take and find just what else the industry is, and is not, doing.

From left, the Find My Phone feature on Windows Phone, the Find My iPhone app on iOS, and Android's pattern unlock feature.

(Credit: James Martin/CNET)

It could happen to you any time, or maybe it already has: You're on the bus playing Angry Birds or browsing Facebook on your phone, when someone snatches your handset, sliding out the closing doors and slipping away into the crowd. Or, worse, a thief takes your phone from you at gunpoint. However it happens, there's no recourse. Your phone is gone, and while you always can buy another handset, all your personal information now lives in the hands of a criminal, petty or otherwise.
According to the San Francisco Police Department, more than 50 percent of the robberies that occurred in the city in 2012 involved the theft of a smartphone (the robberies are referred to as "Apple Picking"). That's nothing to discount, and remember that the SFPD only tracks data for crimes that were reported. The fate of your phone after it's stolen could be just about anything. A thief may keep it himself, she may sell it to a friend or an unsuspecting buyer on eBay, or it may have been stolen only for the parts. Other phones may even be smuggled out of the country where they can fetch a premium price in developing markets. For more on that market, check out this comprehensive story from Huffington Post.

How to protect your smartphone and its data (pictures)

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That's why if you own a smartphone and bravely brandish it on the street or the train, it's essential that you take every step necessary to protect your data from thieves, and to track and manage your smartphone once it's gone. In this feature, I've described the essential security features available for each smartphone operating system and the major US carriers. Also, read Jessica's Dolcourt's smart tips for safe phone use in public. The wireless industry is taking some steps to confront phone theft like the creation of a national phone "blacklist," but that's as far as it's willing to go for now. Some law enforcement agencies, particularly those in San Francisco and New York state, want a "kill switch" that would essentially brick a phone, but carriers and OEMs are balking at that idea. I'll discuss both issues in more detail below.
Before I begin
First, there are a few things that you should know. In the first section, I've divided each operating system into two parts: the basic security features which come on the smartphones for preventing data theft that use an OS, and the more sophisticated app-based services available for tracking and wiping a device. Note also, I purposely did not include any third-party security apps. Though such titles exist, and many will do the job quite well, my intent is to focus on the default solutions that are either already on a handset, or officially endorsed by an OS provider.
Also, keep in mind that no security feature is completely foolproof. A sophisticated thief with the right equipment may be able to bypass any security measure. What's more, there's always the chance that a thief is stealing your phone just for parts, and has no intention of reusing it. In that case, a password isn't going to stop him from just taking it apart.

iOS

Preventing data theft and casual hacking

Lock code
You can use either a 4-digit number (a "simple passcode") or a longer "complex passcode" of case-sensitive letters, numbers, spaces, and characters. And if you prefer, you can activate a feature where entering a passcode incorrectly 10 times will wipe the phone. The iPhone 5S has the same passcode features, with an added Touch ID fingerprint scanner.
Lock screen features
This is important. iOS can give you access to some features without entering your lock code. Though sensitive personal information is not accessible, you can use some functions of Siri, such as placing a voice call or sending a text message, as well as reply to a missed call with a canned text message. Though you might find those shortcuts convenient, your handset will be more secure if you turn them off. Go to Settings > General > Passcode Lock.

Similarly, you'll also need to turn off access to the Control Center and the Notification Center from your lock screen. To get there, go to Settings > Control Center, and Settings > Notification Center.

Tracking and wiping your phone

Find My iPhone
This feature enables you to track, manage, and secure your phone once it's missing. To use it, you'll first need an iCloud account, though you do not need to sync any of your data, like e-mail and contacts, to the cloud. After you're set up, then go to the iCloud page of your iPhone's Settings and slide the Find My iPhone toggle to on.

After you sign into your iCloud account, click on the Find My iPhone option.

(Credit: Screenshot by Kent German/CNET)

Once your phone has been stolen, the first step is to sign on to iCloud.com or use the free Find My iPhone app on another iOS device. Once in, you'll be able to find your device on an Apple map, but only if it is connected to a cellular or public Wi-Fi network (both secure and not). If the phone is connected just to a hidden Wi-Fi network (that is, one that does not appear in your handset's list of available networks), you may not be able to track it. Other restrictions also apply, but I'll get to those later.
After locating your phone and clicking on the icon, you can do a number of things. The first is to make the phone make play a sound at full volume for two minutes (even if it's in silent mode). As this step is more useful if you just happen to lose your phone in your sofa cushions, I'd advise not using it if you're certain that your handset is stolen. It just won't do a lot of good except annoy a thief. You also can erase your handset completely, but this step is rather premature. Instead, first try activating Lost Mode as soon as you as you can. Not only does it give you more options for controlling your phone, it also adds a stricter level of security.

The online interface for Find My iPhone.

(Credit: Screenshot by Kent German/CNET)

Lost Mode
Lost Mode does a couple of things, the first of which is give you more features for controlling your device. To begin, if you haven't yet secured your device with a passcode (and, really, there's no reason why you shouldn't), you'll be able to select a four-digit simple passcode and lock the screen remotely. At the very least, that will prevent all but the most sophisticated thieves from accessing your personal information. Remember, though, that to make your phone as secure as possible, you should have already deactivated lock screen access to the features I mentioned previously.
The next step is to send a custom message to your handset's lock screen that can't be erased. You can write whatever you want, from your name or phone number, to a plea to contact you, to a more colorful message telling thieves what you really think of them. The latter, however, probably isn't the wisest course of action.
Lost Mode also lets you see a history of your phone's location over the last 24 hours with points displayed as pins on the aforementioned map. Finally, if all hope is gone, you can erase your device completely. Once you erase it, you'll lose the ability to track it further, but your lock code and onscreen message will remain.
Comparing Security features by OS

Feature	iOS	Android	Windows Phone
Mobile app	Yes	No	No
Device Tracking	Yes	Yes	Yes
Remote wipe	Yes	Yes	Yes
Remote screen lock	Yes	Yes	Yes
Play a sound	Yes	Yes	Yes
Onscreen message	Yes	No	Yes
Prevent new activations	Yes	No	No
Lock code choices	4-digit PIN or password	4 to 17-digit PIN, password, pattern, or face unlock	4 to 16-digit PIN only
Features accessible from lock screen	Siri (including placing a call, or sending a text), Notification and Control centers	Missed calls & text messages	None

Activation Lock
Lost Mode also plays a role in Activation Lock, which is a few feature added in iOS 7. Built after Apple users rightfully complained that Find My iPhone wasn't comprehensive enough, Activation Lock tries to close the loop by preventing a thief from reusing your device after you've accepted that it's gone for good.
Running in the background from the moment you turn on Find My iPhone, Activation Lock pairs your Apple ID and password with the serial number of your handset in Apple's servers. Your ID and password are then required before anyone can turn off Find My iPhone on your handset, attempt to erase any data (that's assuming they aren't stopped by your password), reactivate your phone under a different account, or claim a new phone under your warranty. Activation Lock also remains in place if a thief tries to swap out your SIM card. If you happen to get your phone back and can't remember your password, you can retrieve it by calling Apple support and properly identifying yourself.

Related stories:

• Keep your phone from getting stolen (and what to do if it is)
• 'Kill switch' sought as answer to phone theft epidemic
• Prosecutors team up to combat smartphone thefts

Now, the fine print
Don't forget that Find My iPhone only works as long as your device is online through your carrier's cellular network or Wi-Fi. If a thief turns off your phone or manages to activate Airplane Mode, you won't be able to track it. You can send commands to erase the phone, lock it, and add an onscreen message, but those commands won't be carried out until the phone reconnects. There may be a short gap between when a phone comes back online and when your request to erase it comes through, but setting a passcode ahead of time will keep a thief from accessing anything during that period.
The bottom line
Between Find My iPhone and Activation Lock, iOS has the most comprehensive solutions for protecting your phone (iPhones also are the most popular smartphone targets for thieves). As a result, though, you need to spend more time getting everything set up and running. And with so many features accessible from the lock screen at default, there's more responsibility on the user to lock down the phone as tightly as possible.

Android

Preventing data theft and casual hacking

Lock code
You can secure your handset with either a numerical PIN of four to 17 digits, a password of case-sensitive letters, numbers, and characters (but no spaces), or a pattern. If you use the latter, though, remember that a thief may be able to see your unlock pattern by following the finger smudges on your display. That's another reason why it's a good idea to wipe your handset's screen often. Android phones that run Jelly Bean and above also have the face unlock feature. That feature can be a kick, but it's definitely the less secure option. Beyond a lock code, the new HTC One Max has a fingerprint scanner.
Lock screen features
Like with iOS, Android will let you access some features from the lock screen. The list here is smaller -- just your missed calls and a preview of any missed texts -- but you must disable access by accessing the Security page of the Settings menu.

Tracking and wiping your phone

Android Device Manager
Similar to Find My iPhone, Android Device Manager lets you control access to your phone if it's stolen. Activate the feature by going to the Google Settings menu and choosing Android Device Manager option. Then, check the boxes for remotely locating, locking, and resetting your phone.

Locate your phone with Android Device Manager

(Credit: Screenshot by Kent German/CNET )

To locate a lost device, you'll first need to sign onto the Android Device Manager site using your Google ID and password (there's no corresponding mobile app in Google Play). You'll then see a list of all devices connected to your account. Clicking on each device will show you its location on a Google Map. Of course, the device must be connected to a cellular network or a public Wi-Fi or you won't be able to locate it.

Setting up Android's Face Unlock feature

(Credit: Screenshot by Kent German/CNET)

The next set of options include the ability to lock the your phone with a new lock code, make it ring for five minutes at full volume (even if it's set to silent), and erase your handset completely. Though Android Device Manager does not have an official "Lost Mode," you still can take most of the same preventive measures that you can with iOS, except adding a message to your device's home screen (that option isn't available here). Android does not have its own version of Activation Lock either, but such features are available through third-party apps.
Now, the fine print
Like with iOS, you won't be able to track a device that is powered down or offline. If you send any commands to the phone during that period, though, they also will be carried out when the handset reconnects. You will not be able to track a device after you wipe it, but you will be able to track it if the thief swaps out the SIM card. Also important: you can't wipe microSD cards remotely, only the phone's internal memory. So be careful what you store on a memory card.
The bottom line
Android delivers the essential protection features in an attractive, easy-to-use interface and it runs circles around its rivals with lock code options (big points for the ability to use spaces). On the other hand, the ability to add an onscreen message and a mobile app would make Android Device Manager even more useful. Also, Google needs a service comparable to Apple's Activation Lock.

Windows Phone

Preventing data theft and casual hacking

Lock code
Though you can lock your phone only with a four to 16-digit PIN, Exchange users can add a separate code to access their e-mail. Windows Phone does not make features accessible from the lock screen.

Tracking and wiping your phone

Find My Phone
As this feature is active from the moment you start using your handset, there's no separate set up process. Yet, you can choose to save your handset's location periodically on Microsoft's servers under the Find My Phone option in the Settings menu. Doing so will make it easier to find your device and track its movements. If your device is stolen, sign into WindowsPhone.com using your Microsoft ID, select your handset from the drop-down menu at the top right of the page, and choose the "Find My Phone" app. Microsoft does not offer a companion Find My Phone mobile app.

Find My Phone has a plainer interface, but it's just as useful.

(Credit: Screenshot by Kent German/CNET)

As long as your device has a cellular or public Wi-Fi connection, you'll see a Bing Map with your device's approximate location and three options. They include making it ring (even if it's in silent mode), erasing it completely, and locking it with a PIN. If you choose the latter, you also have the option to make the phone ring as it locks and add a message on the screen. Windows Phone does not have anything directly comparable to Apple's Activation Lock.
Now, the fine print
Here again, you won't be able to track a device that that's off or not connected to the network. But, if you send any commands to the phone during that period, they will be carried out when the handset reconnects. Also, if you can't find your device right away, Microsoft's system will keep trying to locate it, which saves you from constantly refreshing the page. And if you wish, Microsoft will send you an e-mail when it pinpoints your device's location. Like with iOS and Android, you won't be able to track a device after you wipe it, but you will be able to track it if the thief swaps out the SIM card.

Find My Phone will send you an e-mail like this when it locates your device.

(Credit: Screenshot by Kent German/CNET)

The bottom line
There's no set-up process and Windows Phone deserves praise for offering features that Android lacks (an onscreen message and the automated e-mails). Yet Microsoft needs to give customers a mobile app for Find My Phone and its own version of Activation Lock.

Carriers

All US carriers will suspend service to your phone once you report it as lost or stolen. When you make the report, the unique number that identifies your phone to the carrier (called an IMEI on a GSM phone, and an ESN on a CDMA phone) will be entered in a "blacklist." As a result, the network will reject service (calls and data) to any device if its IMEI or ESN is on the list (it would be able to access Wi-Fi, though). Also, since the IMEI on a GSM phones is independent from the SIM card, swapping the SIM for the same carrier would not make a difference. It's a different story if your handset is unlocked, but I'll get to that later.
Sprint, AT&T, and T-Mobile have partnered with third-party developers like Lookout Mobile Security and Assurion to either load tracking and protection apps directly on the handset, or to make them available for download. The apps are similar to Android Device Manager and Find My iPhone, though you'll need to purchase monthly insurance programs to use them.
Verizon Wireless does things bit differently by offering its own branded app for controlling a handset once it's gone. Like with Big Red's carrier rivals, you'll need to subscribe to Verizon's Total Mobile Protection insurance program ($10 per month).

Verizon's security app has far more features for Android users.

(Credit: Screenshot by Kent German/CNET)

The free app is available for both iOS and Android users (download it from the iOS app store or Google Play), but Android users get far more options. They'll be able to locate their handset on a map, sound an alarm, lock it, or wipe it completely. On the other hand, iOS users can only see their iPhone's last known location. As such, if you have an iPhone and are on Verizon, stick with Find My iPhone. It's free and has more features.
U.S. Cellular has its own app which is part of the carrier's Mobile Data Security Plan ($2.99 per month). Features include remote locate, wipe, and lock, and it's compatible with a long list of devices. MetroPCS's MetroGuard app is comparable, but costs $1 per month.

A national blacklist

As mentioned, individual carrier blacklists only go so far. If a thief unlocks an AT&T phone (or the handset is unlocked to begin with), for example, the IMEI of that device wouldn't be on record with T-Mobile. The CTIA, the wireless industry's lobbying group in Washington, D.C., worked with carriers to set up a nationwide blacklist that went into effect in October 2012, but it was limited to phones that used 3G networks (both CDMA and GSM). Granted, a thief probably won't bother stealing a non-3G phone, but you can't argue that the list was fully comprehensive.

Jamie Hastings

(Credit: CTIA)

Fortunately, that list will be expanded to include all LTE devices by November 30, but even then some gaps will remain. First off, it won't include phones that don't have LTE. While that's a fast dwindling group, it doesn't include the iPhone 4, 4S, or the LG Nexus 4, among others. Also, though the CTIA says that 92 percent of US carriers are supporting the list, it won't cover prepaid customers regardless of carrier. Now, that's not a huge number either, but as the industry moves away form the traditional contract model, the number of prepaid customers will grow.
A more pressing issue, however, is that a US-centric list does nothing to stop phones from being reactivated in other countries. Or as New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman put it, "This is an international problem that demands an international solution."
The CTIA says that it supports an international list, but it stopped short of recommending a detailed plan for getting there. "We also need more countries and carriers to participate in the database so that when criminals try to sell them internationally, the stolen devices would be blacklisted and would not reactivate," said Jamie Hastings, the CTIA's vice president for external and state affairs, in a statement to CNET.

Is a Kill Switch the answer?

The CTIA is not, however, signing on to the idea of a "kill switch" that some law enforcement officials support. Though San Francisco District Attorney George Gascón has not advocated for a specific technology or solution, he wants carriers to use a kill switch to remotely deactivate all features of a phone (possibly via a text message) and render it completely useless.
"The solutions we're demanding will eliminate the value of stolen devices on the secondary market," Gascón said in a statement to CNET. "We commonly refer to this technology as a kill switch, since it 'bricks' the central features of the phone, making its value equivalent to that of a paper weight. We know this technology exists."
Essentially, that's pretty much what Apple's Activation Lock already does. But Gascón wants carriers and manufacturers to put it on all phones and be more vocal about encouraging customers to use it.
"The only way thieves will stop robbing people for their devices is if they know there's no payoff," he said. "That's going to require a comprehensive deterrent that renders stolen devices useless."

George Gascon

(Credit: SF DA's Office)

But that's not how the CTIA sees it. Though the organization would not provide CNET with a spokesperson to talk about the issue, it said via a position paper that a kill switch carries too many risks. For example, because the customer information and the related technology would be shared by multiple parties such as carriers and OS developers, there would be no way to keep it secret. As a result, anyone from terrorists to amateur hackers, to vengeful lovers and employees could steal and misuse the technology. What's more, if a customer happened to recover their device after using the kill switch, they wouldn't be able to use it again.
"Where mobile devices are permanently disabled by malicious use of a 'kill switch,' the safety of subscribers may be jeopardized as they will be unable to make emergency calls," the paper said. "Even if technically feasible to develop, a permanent kill switch has very serious risks."
Those are valid risks, but they may not be the whole story. In a CBS News story posted this morning, Gascón said that a kill switch would eat into the revenue that carriers make from customer insurance plans. Also today, the New York Times reported that carriers prevented Samsung from installing kill switch-like technology in its smartphones.
As an alternative, the CTIA would support the Mobile Device Theft Deterrence Act of 2013 (S.1070). Introduced by Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY), the legislation would impose a five-year criminal penalty for tampering with the IMEI or ESN of a cell phone. Changing the IMEI or ESN, which would a allow a stolen phone to be reused, is a loophole that skilled thieves have begun to exploit.
"We strongly support and need Sen. Schumer's legislation to pass that would impose tough penalties on those who steal devices or modify them illegally since it would help dry up the market for those who traffic in stolen devices," said CTIA's Hastings. As of last May, though, the bill is still in the House Judiciary Committee and has not come up for a vote.

More could be done

If cell phone theft continues to grow, and (heaven forbid) becomes more violent, then perhaps the industry will be open to more solutions like a better blacklist. No industry, though, loves government regulation, so the chances of more happening are slim. The CTIA in particular, will do what it can to stop anything resembling a kill switch. So, for now, smartphone users need to take care when using their devices in public, and take every available measure for securing and remotely managing their devices. And, if Google and Microsoft can develop comprehensive features like Activation Lock, then that will be even better. Because at least then, your phone may be gone, but you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that anyone else will have a hell of a time trying to use it. 

‎Apple‬ starts buyback offer for ‪‎iPhone‬ 5C, 4S

NEW DELHI: After tasting success with the buyback offer for iPhone 4 earlier this year, Apple has again started the scheme, going more aggressive to sell two of its smartphones.

The company is offering minimum discount of Rs 13,000 for its three-year-old iPhone 4 if users buy the newly launched iPhone 5C (16 and 32GB variants) or two generation old iPhone 4S (8GB model). Apple says that the buyback offer entails a minimum discount of Rs 13,000 and newer smartphones will reportedly fetch higher value, depending on their condition.

Under this offer, buyers will be able to get their hands on the 16 and 32GB iPhone 5C models at Rs 28,900 and Rs 40,500 respectively, while iPhone 4S will be available for Rs 18,500. The official price of the iPhone 5C's 16 and 32GB variants is Rs 41,900 and Rs 53,500, whereas iPhone 4S costs Rs 31,500.

This offer is not limited to just iPhone 4, but smartphones manufactured by other companies as well. Mumbai-based retailer Mahesh Telecom has said that this exchange scheme is also available for BlackBerry Z10 and Q10, Nokia Lumia 925, HTC One, One Mini, Desire 500 and Desire 600. Samsung's Galaxy S4, S3, Note 3, Note 2, S4 Mini, Mega 6.3 and Mega 5.8 are also covered under this scheme. It also includes Sony's Xperia Z1, Z, Z Ultra, ZR and C smartphones.

Apple is also giving cashback of 5% on select credit cards.

Some of the stores offering this buyback scheme are Reliance Digital, Jumbo Electronics, E-Zone, Croma, Airtel, Planet M, Digital Xpress, Spice Hotspot, Vijay Sales and The Mobile Store. Stores that are part of Apple Premium Reseller programme also provide this offer.

This scheme comes into effect on the same day that Google and LG launched the Nexus 5 smartphone in the Indian market.

At a meeting between Apple and top executives of Indian retailers last week, several ideas to push iPhone sales were discussed, sources told TOI. While the buyback offer discussed at the meeting has come into effect, other such schemes are yet to be announced.

One of the ideas to push iPhone sales was a try-and-buy offer, wherein a buyer will be able to take home an iPhone model without actually purchasing it for a few days. As per the discussion, buyers will have to get the cost of the smartphone blocked via credit card, so that in case they do not return the handset after the trial period is over Apple does not lose money. However, the nuances of this scheme were not ironed out at the meeting.

Apple reportedly tripled its sales earlier this year when it launched the buyback offer for iPhone 4. It gave cashback of Rs 7,000 for several smartphones, pushing sales through the roof. This prompted several retailers and other manufacturers to start similar schemes.        

8 Lies Of A Mother

In our constant reading of amazing heart-touching parent-child stories on the web, we came across this really touching story:

The story begins when the person who shared this was a child.

Born into a very poor family, often there was not much to eat in the house. Whenever there was some food, the Mother would give her portion of rice to the child and say ‘eat this rice son, I’m not hungry.’

As the child grew, the mother started using up all her spare time to go fishing in a river near the house, hoping that from the fish she would catch, she could provide a little nutrition to her child. Every time she caught two fish, she would make a fish soup and give it to her child. As the child drank the soup and ate the fish, the mother would sit beside and eat the bone from what was left. The child felt really sad seeing its mother eating just the leftover bones, so one day it gave a piece of fish to the mother, but the mother said ‘eat this fish son, I don’t like fish.’

As the son was growing up, the mother began working harder to fund his education. She went to a Match factory to bring home used matchboxes which she would fill with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money that she could use towards her son’s education. One late winter night the son woke up and saw his mother was still filling the matchboxes by candlelight. He asked her to go to sleep. ‘Go to sleep son, I’m not tired,’ she smiled.

When it was time for the son’s final exam, the mother accompanied him and after dawn, she waited for long hours in the sun for her son to finish the exam. When he came out and ran to his mother, she gave him a cup of tea she had brought for him. He could see his mother was covered in sweat, so he gave her the glass and asked her to drink. But she said ‘Drink son, I am not thirsty.’

After the death of his father, his mother had to take on the role of a single parent, working, trying to meet the expenses, battling starvation. The neighbours, who saw that the family was stuck in poverty, often advised the mother to marry again, but she refused, saying ‘I don’t need love.’

After he finished his studies, he got a job and asked his mother to stop working. But she continued going to the market each morning just to sell a few vegetables. She kept sending back the money that her son sent her, saying ‘I have enough money.’

The son got a big jump in salary and decided to bring his mother with him to America, where he was now living. But his mother didn’t want to bother the son and said ‘I’m not used to high living.’

In her old age, the mother got ill with cancer and had to be hospitalised. The son, who lived oceans away from her, rushed to her, who was bedridden after an operation. She tried to smile, but the son was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble, but mother said, ‘Don’t cry son, I’m not in pain.’ And saying this, her eighth lie to her son, she died.

Believe in Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be.

That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.
But  those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own  judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in  yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly  keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy  at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense  of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with  frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in  yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself!

Enjoy your life at every moment

Once a fisherman was sitting near seashore, under  the shadow of a tree smoking his beedi. Suddenly a rich businessman  passing by approached him and enquired as to why he was sitting under a  tree smoking and not working. To this the poor fisherman replied that he  had caught enough fishes for the day.

Hearing this the rich man got angry and said: Why don’t you catch more fishes instead of sitting in shadow wasting your time?
 Fisherman asked: What would I do by catching more fishes?

Businessman: You could catch more fishes, sell them and earn more money, and buy a bigger boat.
 Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could go fishing in deep waters and catch even more fishes and earn even more money.
 Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could buy many boats and employ many people to work for you and earn even more money.
 Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could become a rich businessman like me.
 Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could then enjoy your life peacefully.
 Fisherman: What do you think I’m doing right now?

MORAL  – You don’t need to wait for tomorrow to be happy and enjoy your life.  You don’t even need to be more rich, more powerful to enjoy life. LIFE  is at this moment, enjoy it fully.

As some great men have said “My riches consist not in extent of my possessions but in the fewness of my wants”.

Marriage - very touching

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand  and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.  Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how  to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a  divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I  avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the  chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t  talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what  had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory  answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I  just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce  agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30%  stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into  pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become  a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I  could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally  she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.  To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which  had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The  next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at  the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell  asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In  the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want  anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She  requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a  life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a  month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken  marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more,  she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our  wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month’s  duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.  I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together  bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s  divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No  matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said  scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my  divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on  the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us,  daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of  pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked  over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said  softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat  upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to  work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us  acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the  fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman  carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There  were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had  taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On  the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy  returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On  the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was  growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry  her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me  stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on  quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed,  all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown  so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our  son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To  him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential  part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged  him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change  my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from  the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand  surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was  just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me  sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a  step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t  noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office… jumped  out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay  would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door  and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She  looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a  fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I  won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I  didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each  other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on  our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane  seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed  the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At  the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.  The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,  I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My  wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to  even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me  from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru  with the divorce –At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving  husband…

The small details of  your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the  mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an  environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in  themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little  things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy  marriage!
                                                                    Author Unknown

Never judge anyone…..

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an  urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes &  went directly to the surgery block.

He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor.
On seeing him, the dad yelled: “Why did you take all this time to  come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have  any sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled & said: “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the  hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call…… And  now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily
The doctor smiled again & replied: “I  will say what Job said in the Holy Book
“From dust we came & to  dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong  lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s  grace”
“Giving advises when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “Thank goodness!, your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any questions, ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so  that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the  nurse minutes after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died  yesterday in a road accident, he was at the burial when we called him  for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left  running to finish his son’s burial.”


MORAL : "Never judge anyone….. because you never know how their life is & what they’re going through.

Story-Strong woodcutter

Once upon a time, a very strong woodcutter asked for a job in a timber merchant and he got it. The pay was really good and so was the work condition. For those reasons, the woodcutter was determined to do his best.

His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he supposed to work.

The first day, the woodcutter brought 18 trees.

“Congratulations,” the boss said. “Go on that way!”

Very motivated by the boss words, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but he could only bring 15 trees. The third day he tried even harder, but he could only bring 10 trees. Day after day he was bringing less and less trees.

“I must be losing my strength”, the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on.

“When was the last time you sharpened your axe?” the boss asked.

“Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees…”
Reflection:

Our lives are like that. We sometimes get so busy that we don’t take time to sharpen the “axe”. In today’s world, it seems that everyone is busier than ever, but less happy that ever.

Why is that? Could it be that we have forgotten how to stay “sharp”? There’s nothing wrong with activity and hard work. But we should not get so busy that we neglect the truly important things in life, like our personal life, taking time to get close to our Creator, giving more time for our family, taking time to read etc.

We all need time to relax, to think and meditate, to learn and grow. If we don’t take the time to sharpen the “axe”, we will become dull and lose our effectiveness.

Management Lesson

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was
actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lesson:
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) When you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

**************************

Get to know what it is getting More than 100%………..

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants “more than 100%.”

Well here’s how you do that. Here’s how you can achieve 103%. First of all,here’s a little math that might prove helpful in
the future. How does one achieve 100% in LIFE? Begin by noting the following.

IF :

A = 1

B = 2

C = 3

D = 4

E = 5

F = 6

G = 7

H = 8

I = 9

J = 10

K = 11

L = 12

M = 13

N = 14

O = 15

P = 16

Q = 17

R = 18

S = 19

T = 20

U = 21

V = 22

W = 23

X = 24

Y = 25

Z = 26

Then:

H A R D W O R K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = Only 98%

Similarly,

K N O W L E D G E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = Only 96%

But interesting (and as you’d expect),

A T T I T U D E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%…..

This is how you achieve 100% in LIFE.

But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO NOTE (or REALIZE), is

B U L L S H I T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

So now you know what all those high-priced consultants, upper management,

and motivational speakers really mean when they want to exceed 100%!

Valentines Story.

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Valentine. I lived in Rome during the third century. That was long, long ago! At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. I didn’t like Emperor Claudius, and I wasn’t the only one! A lot of people shared my feelings.

Claudius wanted to have a big army. He expected men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. As you might have guessed, not many men signed up. This made Claudius furious. So what happened? He had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel. I thought it was preposterous! I certainly wasn’t going to support that law!

Did I mention that I was a priest? One of my favourite activities was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, I kept on performing marriage ceremonies — secretly, of course. It was really quite exciting. Imagine a small candlelit room with only the bride and groom and myself. We would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers.

One night, we did hear footsteps. It was scary! Thank goodness the couple I was marrying escaped in time. I was caught. (Not quite as light on my feet as I used to be, I guess.) I was thrown in jail and told that my punishment was death.

I tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what? Wonderful things happened. Many young people came to the jail to visit me. They threw flowers and notes up to my window. They wanted me to know that they, too, believed in love.

One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit me in the cell. Sometimes we would sit and talk for hours. She helped me to keep my spirits up. She agreed that I did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and going ahead with the secret marriages. On the day I was to die, I left my friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. I signed it, “Love from your Valentine.”

I believe that note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine’s Day. It was written on the day I died, February 14, 269 A.D.

Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh — because they know that love can’t be beaten!

The Story of the Butterfly

The Story of the Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn’t go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.